I miss you, Mom. I try so hard to forget the existence of Mother's Day every year... or else I will sit here thinking about the gift I'd like to give you this year... or the ones that I gave you in years past... you always loved presents and surprises, like a little kid you always that giddy sense of excitement for such things.

I found this old polaroid picture of you, above, while going through some boxes of old things... as I am getting ready to move out of this house. I'm sure you'd be so upset if you were here, seeing what my life is right now. I know you'd be proud of me anyway... but you never did handle seeing me get hurt well (just remember the time they had to tape my jawline shut after the accident, ha) Anyway... I had never seen this picture of you before!? Where is the World did it come from??

There you are, in a frilly fancy dress and sweet pigtails... standing happily in the midst of a decrepit and abandoned building. WTF? Is this where I get it from, Mom??

I think you would have loved the website... *smile*

I miss you. You've been gone for 12 years now, and it's still close-to-impossible for me to bring myself to your grave. I hate to think of you being there. When I am upset, or crying, or feeling like I'm just dying... I sob your name out. I still call for you like a kid with a skinned knee.
Do you ever hear me?

I miss you, Mom. I will always f**king miss you. Mother, best friend, kin & confidante... nobody will ever be able to replace what you were (are) to me.

I miss you.
Happy Mother's Day.